Breaking Porn Addiction - Action 5 - Accountability

By: Ron Lagerquist

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Proverbs 27:17

I am a loner at heart; my creative batteries get recharged in the introspection of solitude. Backwoods hiking, canoeing, writer-recluse with a flare of eccentric, at least that was how I prided myself. Throughout the last twenty-five years, lack of accountability has been my downfall. Me and Jesus; don’t need anyone, too precious to be cookie cut by Religion. The result was a private religion run amuck, a God of my own understanding and appalling self-justifying of secret sin. Am I suggesting that a personal relationship with Jesus is not enough? Yes. The new birth must be followed up with obedience which will always lead to deep fellowship and accountability.

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."

James 5:16

The synergy of accountability and solitude is spiritually dynamic; both are strongly taught in Scripture and played out in Jesus’ life. Having honest friendships with spiritually mature men where accountability is as natural as conversation, guards from dangerous subjective justification. Good friendship will encourage and challenge, uplift and rebuke. “Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear.” Proverbs 25:12 A well placed rebuke can save a man’s life. These kinds of friendships are vital and worth seeking out. They demand honesty and courage, resulting in the fruit of mutual spiritual protection.

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Ecclesiastes 4:12

Satan divides and conquers. He wants to shove you into the corner of guilt and shame and beat the living Spirit out of you. We are in a war; stand together in powerful friendships that hold one another accountable. If there is no men’s group in your Church, start one. Look for the spiritual men in your Church and make friends. Invite his family for lunch after Church. For some you this will be breaking out of your comfort zone, but it is time to get uncomfortable. We have gone to great lengths to feed our addiction, it is time we risk some discomfort to protect our spiritual health and marriages. Replace lame excuses with hard-hitting action.

My dilemma is that cultivating the type of friendships where accountability occurs naturally, demands an investment of time, something I am in short supply of. This is yet another lame excuse and clear message that I am still not getting it. We invest time into the things that are important to us and often the level of importance is judged according to the pleasure it ensues. At first glance, developing a friendship seems like more hard work. What I am forgetting, as I stiffly walk up and introduce myself, is the richest memories and loudest laughter is found in the theater of companionship. Why do we remember our youth with such fondness? It was a time where the camaraderie of companionship was more important than trying to maintain a materialistic lifestyle. Developing friendship does take time but the end result can be a lifetime of shared experiences and mutual protection. No longer does the foe of lust have to be faced alone, we stand together covering each other’s back.

One of the most valuable actions I have ever taken in my fight against pornography was adding full transparency to time spent on the Internet. I am on the net all the time, often alone at my office. A few years ago we discovered a program, that once installed, put an end to that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I opened the web. The name is Covenant Eyes, and its beauty is in its simplicity. Once loaded onto your computer, the program sends a history of every site you have visited to Covenant Eyes’ secure database. (If you have a problem with internet pornography, you know what History File I am referring to, it’s the one you frantically erase after failing.) You set up trusted accountability partners with a password, who then can log into Covenant Eyes’ website and view where you are surfing. Additionally, they are sent a surfing report via e-mail once a week or month. We have Covenant Eyes on all of our computers. I no longer surf alone, even if I am surfing at three in the morning. I absolutely love it because it works. No more sneak a peek. It takes a few minutes to set up, does not slow down surfing, and is impossible to get around. Most serous Christian ministries are putting this type of program on their computers and some are requiring the leadership to have it on their computers at home.

We believe so strongly in Internet accountability that Freedomyou has partnered with Covenant Eyes. Call this fighting back, kicking Satan where it hurts, removing a temptation we can now do something about. It’s under ten dollars a month and worth every penny. It’s time to back up your repentance with action that works. Loading Covenant Eyes onto your computer is not admittance of a weakness but an action of strength.



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Your Comments
Absolutely great info and advice on here and Biblically sound! "God wants more than weeping apologies" (or something like that) really hit me. I believe that's where the real change comes, in the actions we take to repent and turn away, not just in the feelings of regret and prayers we may pray after falling. Thank you for all your ministry
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