Fasting: Day 4 - Depression

By: Ron Lagerquist

Physical Side

Small glass of orange juice; one whole pineapple juiced; two glasses of veggie juice. Always need less sleep when fasting. Skin is already showing positive effects of ingesting the wide spectrum of nutrients in the juice. Detox has yet to hit hard, which is a testament to the cleansing qualities of my diet high in raw fruit and veggies. It’s Saturday, I will be spending most of the day in solitude. My apartment needs to be cleaned, laundry done, month-ends and book work done, writing, website work—normally these things would be primary, but today they will be secondary. 

Spiritual Side

Woke up feeling good, then for no external reason, good turned into bad. This confirms the old adage; the brain has no idea what the heart is doing. During a fast, emotions can move quickly between joy and fear. Or maybe I’m more in tune to my emotional shifts.  Nonetheless. The increased awareness is good, especially when I discovered that I can do something about my emotions and thinking. 

Because fasting slows things down I can actually root a depressed feeling back to an unchecked negative thought that may have happened hours ago.

A reoccurring negative thought I almost live daily with is, you’re divorced. What follows are intense feelings of shame and regret. Normally I’m so focused on what I need to get accomplished for that day, the thought gets shoved aside as I prepare for work. Hours later there is still a shadow over my heart. Even if the day is going well I feel glum.  Sometimes a un-dealt-with thought can set the emotional course of an entire day. The scary part is, emotions affect choices and sometimes those choices have ripple effects years into the future. 

When I fast, I am more aware of how a negative thought or memory is affecting me. The reason for this is in a fasting state I am less rushed, less distracted, there is a deeper inward focus. So today, after an hour of living under the shadow of a fearful thought, (if I invest in rehabilitating my website my listings and sales will not increase), I stopped and dealt with it head on. I talked to myself.

Here’s what I said. The greatest fulfillment I get from Freedomyou has never been in the money or book sales, but the emails of changed lives. The real joy is in writing an article that glorifies God, and then offering it to Him as a gift. It’s simply in the pleasure of writing. Once I reminded myself of this, I felt such a freedom and my joy returned.

What can I learn from this? It’s a shame that when in a non-fasting state, which is most of my life, that I allow an unchecked negative thought to cast a joyless shadow over my day. It’s worth taking the time, stopping and dealing with it, so the rest of my doing can be filled with joy. 
The investment of time to stop and deal with a fearful thought is worth it, because even one unchecked fear can lead to a wrong decision that could potentially affect the rest of my life. Choices made in faith bear the best fruit.

Next Article: Fasting: Day 5 – Going To Church While Fasting

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A little sad to learn you got divorced. God works all things for good. Sorry you've been hurting.
Katherine
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